Life can be a very difficult journey for each and every one of us at one time or another. It is true, there are many different types of families, blended families, grandparents who become parental guardians, adoptive parents and foster parents.
It is never fair to assume that a child who is placed for adoption is unwanted by the birth mother. In fact, the decision to place a child for adoption is very difficult and also very courageous, if you ask this mother. In fact, I would go so far as to say that this decision is probably the most searing, heartbreaking decision that will haunt them forever.
Love is unconditional. Love comes from the heart, not the uterus; we love them regardless of their biology. The heart is never limited when it comes to the capacity to love.
Children are not a commodity. Just like biological parents pay hospital and physician bills for services, adoptive parents pay legal fees or agency fees. The children are not "purchased".
Where are the "real" parents. The adoptive parents are the "real" parents. The term you're looking for is "birth-mother" or "birth-father". Adoptive parents are no different than those of us with biological children.....we are all "parents with kids". Step-parents, grandparents who become parents are the "real parents". I remember one time my dad was admitted to Borgess for heart issues and all of us were circled around his bed in the hospital when one of the nurses came into the room and said "Mr. Hunt, who are all these kids?" He answered "they're all mine". All six of us (four were his step-children by marriage, two of us his biological children), but that's just not how he looked at life. He had enough love in his heart to capture all of us as "his own".
Growing up, myself, my parents divorced when I was around eight years old. Both of my parents re-married with spouses who had children from a previous marriage. Blended families are more and more common on our society, but love has a way of transcending any family dynamics. My step-father called me his daughter with love and conviction from the get-go, which I never questioned, though I did have friends and extended family members ask me me if it was difficult to be in a blended family. My answer: Nope and I get two birthday parties. The bottom line, I felt truly loved.
It's difficult enough to blend families without outside comments being thrown in - children are learning who they are as they grow up, hearing hurtful words from clueless (or well-intentioned) adults can damage their egos and, add to that, psychological issues which makes the parent's job much more difficult.
Here's a rule of thumb and I really think it's awesome advice in just about any situation - think before commenting, just being around a family that is blended or adoptive may show the answers without having to ask them. God loves all of us as his own in his family, just as much as we love our kids, whether they are birth children, blended families or adoptive children - they are our children as We are His.
